#38

So...hello again.
Easter is over and will be going back to uni on Monday again. Have an essay to do and an exam to revise for next Monday. Haven't done anything during the holidays - whoops.



Definitely going to Hong Kong in the Summer as mother has booked the tickets already so no Japan this year. Not bothered about that cos I am not ready for that at all, mentally and language-skill wise. I've been so nervous about the littlest things that I end up feeling nauseous. Presentations and teaching sessions I can understand, but I experienced that when I was travelling back home which I don't get :\.
But didn't get that when I was coming back so it was probably just a weird occurrence.

I am nearly finished for the year, so scary D: In a month's time, I would've finished my first year at uni - fucking hell. Not too worried for my Japanese exams since I think I can do decent in them. I mean, I've been getting 80%-90% with and without revision in class tests. My proudest achievement is that I've never dropped below 80%, I think my lowest was about 82%. /smug

So recently, one of my circles of friends have all gotten into a relationship so I'm the odd the one out there. We're all going camping again in the Summer and except from someone's boyfriend, I think. Just sticking out like a fucking sore thumb as the forever-alone person. idk, that does somewhat make me uncomfortable since everyone else will be lovey-dovey and I'm just there doing nothing like an idiot. I, for the love of gah, hope they do not attempt to set me up with anyone cos they've attempted before. Obviously failed cos: a) my personality, b) never met/don't even know the guy, c) not my ~*ideal*~ type. I know I make it absolutely obvious that I am not interested in having a relationship. I do not usually act stereotypically feminine and put on more of an masculine facade so that people won't end up being interested in me (lol, I know).
I am content with what it's like now and just don't think I can handle  having to take into consideration for making someone else happy whilst I'm struggling to keep my spirits up.
Definitely not after anyone at uni. There are obviously some amazingly pretty people here but to pursue a relationship with them? No.
Now and again I think about him (for some reason, was desperately hoping to bump into him when I was home but lol no). I don't think we ever had a thing between us, but he must've had a major impact me as I haven't seen him in over a year now. Argh, dood. Just thinking about it now, he seriously meets so many of the criterias I have for a potential partner, mah gah. lol wtf has this even turned into?